PARENTS
Although I work with a variety of populations, an area I am passionate about, one that is near and dear to my heart, is working with parents and guardians —whether their children are babies, tweens, teens, or adults.
As a parent myself, who deeply struggled in the past, I understand the pressures and concerns that many of us have and I can help.
Do you find that your child’s struggles become your struggles? Their mental state becomes your mental state? Does their anxiety become your anxiety? And then suddenly… both your nervous systems seem to intertwine and your negative emotions and your child’s spiral downwards? I understand. Been there.
Suffering from postpartum emotional issues?
I understand. Been there.
Do you spend nights awake in bed feeling helpless and ruminating, worrying about your children today or their future… or are you feeling guilt, shame, and/or regrets for what you perceive are past parental mistakes? Can’t stop the looping thoughts as your mind goes into overdrive?
I understand. Been there, too. I can help.
Many of us worry deeply about the future of our children and our impact on them. Many of us have regrets, thinking we should have done things differently. The protective nature we have as parents often takes a big toll on us.
I find that parents often corner the market on deep fear, worry, guilt, shame and/or regrets. When our kids are shaken, we are shaken too, and vice versa.
But I can show you a different way! And what is wonderful about this type of work is that I will facilitate, but you will find your strength, and help yourself. You will become empowered and that truly is life changing. If you are struggling, I am 100% here to support you as you find balance in your life. I work with clients to help them establish healthy boundaries for themselves, and in the process they are able to see the positive effects this has on their child’s mental health.
Want to chat?
Sometimes after having children we, as parents, suffer from fearful thoughts surrounding our children, doubts about our parenting capabilities, and/or a feeling of disconnect from others.
Often we don’t want to show our struggles. At times we withdraw. We feel we have to go it alone. We don’t always ask for help when exhaustion takes over or when we are struggling in other ways. Some of us may feel that our children are extensions of ourselves and that our health and happiness depends on theirs. These thoughts may go into overdrive as we desperately try to do everything for our children to help them avoid pain while neglecting to take care of ourselves. We often become stuck in the caretaker/martyr identity.
What we sometimes fail to realize is that the key to grounding our children and supporting them even if they are struggling is to care for ourselves first and foremost! So doing the work to center ourselves and find our joy is the key. Taking time to ourselves to engage with nature, explore things that make us happy, connect with friends, and move our bodies are all things that can nurture joy. In this way, we can be a powerful positive model for our children and help them, while at the same time helping ourselves. The key to empowering our children is to model for them, how to love and care for ourselves and in order to do this, sometimes we have to work on a subconscious level to identify our negative beliefs about our role as a parent and shift them to positive. If we are rooted, our children will have something solid to grasp onto when they need support.
“Be a full person. Motherhood is a glorious gift, but do not define yourself solely by motherhood. Be a full person. Your child will benefit from that.”
Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie
Have you ever heard the expression, “a parent is only as happy as their most unhappy child”?!
When I was struggling with parenting I heard that from friends often. And there seemed to be a tacit understanding that this was the way it had to be, should be even! That this is a way we show our children how much we love them—by becoming sad when they are sad, by making ourselves sick worrying when they are struggling, by running ourselves ragged to support them…
But we do not need to put our happiness on hold for our children and we should not. Often this leads to deep stress within us, sadness, and thus physical ramifications as the emotions of the mind affect the health of the body, and this, right here, has a negative impact on our children.
A parent must value and care for themselves and find their happiness in order to be the best support for their children. Yes we must and should want to support our children as they navigate life, but we need to find a balance so we can care for ourselves as well!
Is your joy dependent on the joy of others? And do you put your own deep desires on hold for others?
Do you feel overwhelmed with the responsibility of caring for your family? And feel like you have failed when members of your family are not in a good place?
Do you wish to be free of the burdens that you place on yourself?
Do you want to be an anchor for your children, but can’t keep on an even keel?
It’s exhausting, isn’t it?
Ready to rewire those negative thoughts? To partner with me?
Together we’ll focus on getting to the root of those negative thoughts of fear, worry, shame, guilt, etc., and rewiring them. We will focus on how to center yourself and set healthy boundaries, how to create wise and loving distance from your children so YOU can take care of YOU, and by extension… them. We will focus on how to truly let go of fear, self-blame, and how to love and forgive yourself.
And in this way, you will be empowered to follow your passions, be dauntless, step into joy, and thus become a powerful model of self-care for your kids. In fact, in this way, you help them more than you could have ever imagined!